Madness
by Atomic Garden
Summary: [Sano x Kaoru] One-shot. Sunsets and shadows.


Disclaimer: Standard. Don't own it, don't sue me. Cheers.  
  
AN: Okay, I've seen a couple of these out and I wasn't happy with the way some of them were being done. This doesn't have much of an interesting plot, but I tried to at least give you grammar. It's short, I wrote it in a day, and is my first 'official' attempt at a Kenshin fic. Feedback is welcomed and encouraged. Would you comment if I promised to print out your comment and tape it to my wall? For now, this is a one shot, unless you guys inflate my ego enough, which I'm not expecting. Enjoy!

Chapter One

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**_There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. _**__

- _Friedrich Nietzsche_

'Sunsets are always beautiful things.' Kaoru thought with a sigh. 'It's almost a certainty that you can go out at the right time, and there will always be a wonderful pallet of colors filling the sky. I had almost come to depend on the constant beauty and serenity of them, but tonight was different. Tonight I was out as usual, but this time something was different. Something in the night air or some fluctuation of my mood, I couldn't tell. But tonight I sat leaning against a young watching my shadow. It's funny how something so simple and plain can be the most interesting.'

She gave a small snort. 'After three years, I finally had people in my house to keep me company, even as odd as they were. And yet I was still out here, night after night, as if I was waiting.' 

A sudden gust of wind and several leaves were knocked from their branches. Watching the shadows, Kaoru made a game of trying to catch the leaves. She gave a small giggle, but stopped when she noticed a shadow creeping up next to hers. She tensed up.

"Is the cold going to your brain, Jou-chan?" Came the familiar voice. She visibly relaxed.

"Just me, eh?" He chuckled "Mind if I join you?"

She gave a small shrug and he plopped down on the grass behind her. He leaned back and propped himself up on both his elbows, head looking at the sky. "Too bad it's cloudy, eh Jou-chan?"

She looked up, startled. "Really? I didn't notice… I wasn't really looking at the sky"

He glanced over at her. "Something on your mind, Missy?"

She leaned back too. "It's been three years to the day."

He snorted. "Right, that"

"It's just that, nothing has been happening. It's as if we've come to a standstill"

He gave a small, lopsided grin. "At the rate you two are going, even I'll be hitched before you."

She gave a small giggle "We're not that bad, you know. So… how are things with you and the doctor?"

He looked over at her sleepily. "Hmm? Oh… her. As normal, really"

She nudged him. "She really likes you, you know."

"Well she has a funny way of showing it."

They sat in silence for a short while, starring into nothing, each lost in their own thoughts. 

_Something so simple…_

It began to rain, slowly at first. A drop hit Kaoru on the nose and she sneezed. Sano let out a small laugh, stood up, and reached out to help her up. She grinned up at him and grabbed his hand, pulling him down. The raining increased as he stumbled and she pulled him completely down with a delighted giggle. He fell into the newly forming mud and laughed.

"You, you're crazy" he grinned and launched himself at her, tackling her.

She let out a delighted squeak and struggled, grabbing a handful of damn dirt and shoving it into his face. He retaliated by pinning her to the ground, as both their laughter rang out. Suddenly Sano realized how close they were and his grin slowly faded. 

Kaoru noticed their proximity and stopped struggling, watching his eyes linger on her lips. They stayed in the position for several moments before Sano reluctantly stood up and pulled her up with him. 

She let out the breath she didn't even know she was holding

"Come on, we don't want Kenshin worrying about you catching a cold" He told her, almost bitterly.

Kaoru let out a small, nervous smile and stood up. "Well, thanks for everything Sano. I think it would be best for me to go inside." She fidgeted for a moment then leaned up, kissed up on the cheek, and turned to leave.

Suddenly, Sano grabbed her wrist and yanked her back towards him, covering his mouth with her own in a passionate kiss. In shock, all Kaoru could do was stand there as Sano wrapped a strong arm around her waist and pulled her body to his own. After a moment, she began to respond. But as soon as she did he pulled back, and she gave a small whine.

She tried to pull herself back up but he stopped her, murmuring against her lips.

"We could be happy, you know that"

She froze, then pulled away and starred into his hooded eyes. She glanced back over to the house, then back at him.

He sighed. "If it wasn't for that"

He started to look away, but she stopped him with her hand. "Sano… you have to understand.  After three years… I've almost come to depend on the fact that he's there. If anything is going wrong, I can tell myself that it's okay because he's there and I love him. He's become the one certainty in my life, and I've become dependant on that. He's like my anchor, Sano. He's always there and I can't abandon him. I just… can't." Her eyes began to sting and she whipped at them angrily with one of her hands.

He looked back at her "But then what, Jou-chan? Are you going to marry him? He may be your anchor, yes, but he's keeping you from going anywhere. What I've always loved" She froze "about you is your spirit, and you've got to let it free! Don't think you can change him much, he's had 10 years of wandering to set his personality in stone. He's too timid for you!"

She looked up at him angrily. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe he's what I need?"

"Yes, I have" he whispered. But she didn't hear him

"You can't just come in here and tell me that three years of affection have been a waste!" She yelled. 

"It's either your three years or mine!" He snapped. After he saw the shocked expression on her face he realized what he had said, but he wasn't going to back down this time. "Does he make you _happy_? Can he make you laugh, forget everything elce? Ever since he came here you've been pining over him and the two of you have been dancing around eachother. Do you really want to spend you time doing that? It's all fun and exciting now, but what happens after you're married? Would he get you with child? Would he decide innocent people needed him better and leave you two alone? What then, Kaoru? What will you do then?"  
  


There was a small pause and then she slapped him. When he pulled his head back, hand on his cheek, he saw that she was wide-eyed. Her hand was trembling in the cold air and her eyes were tearing up. She glanced back and forward between her hand and his covered cheek, looking absolutely lost. Then she brought her hand up to her face and sobbed.

"I… I really don't know anymore, Sano. I don't know!" She choked out and ran inside. 

He glanced at her retreating figure, longing. He reached out his hand, but let it hang limply when he heard the muffled voice of Kenshin inside. "But, Jou-chan, I do."

It began to rain as he stood there. He turned and began to walk towards the gate, giving one small glance back at the dojo, then picked up the soaked bags that he had put outside the gates and walked through the descending rain down the street and into darkness.

Inside, Kaoru would stop suddenly. 'He said my name…'

---

That night she would stay up thinking. She would come to a conclusion suddenly, in the morning, and rush out to find Sano and tell him. She would search the entire town.

And find that he was gone.

      ---


End file.
